POEM
Simi Says, "See you later, Miss Self-Yapper!"
Copyright @ L. Isabelle Martel 2021
You know that negative self-talker
That gets in your head, what a stalker!
Even though she should just stay away,
Miss Self-Yapper visits anyway.
She yaps on about things that aren’t true.
She seems focused on making me blue.
She causes trouble when she creeps in.
I much prefer her positive twin.
The more I notice her however,
The less I let her stay or hover…
Or swirl, swirl and swirl up in my head.
The more peace and joy I find instead.
Miss Self-Yapper is all talk, a drag.
She drains with all that yapping, a snag.
She is not a friendly guest at all,
Miss Self-Yapper really makes my skin crawl.
She could just yap, yaap and yaaaaap all day.
But I have made plans for fun and play.
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I have to speak up and let her know.
To that yapping I say a big ‘No!’
“On your negative talk, I won’t dwell…
Miss Self-Yapper, I bid you farewell!”
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For children:
Create a list of things that make you warmer and fuzzier
and soon making happy thoughts will get easier.
Simi says, "To set myself free,
I have to be me!"
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In Beth's words:
"You're missing your Zen.
Accept who you are, and you will go far!
Be brave and be strong, show them you belong."
For parents:
Some tips and resources:
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Awareness:
Notice when your child expresses negative self-beliefs, thoughts and feelings. Chat with them about the feelings that surface when these words are expressed.
Reframing:
Ultimately, we want to question our unhelpful thoughts and by accepting the feelings that come along, we can diffuse those feelings. We can use humour, creative problem solving to empower young ones to move themselves forward in a positive way to a healthier mindframe. Feel the feeling, accept it and move toward letting it go.
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Focus on joy and fun:
To tip the scale, we can purposefully encourage children to make time to list, plan and take part in fun activities and recall these moments. We can help children make a Happy list of things they can turn to when boredom or sadness sets in. Gratitude is also known to be one of the quickest ways to redirect our thoughts and, very importantly, our feelings and build a happier life. And to build positive self-beliefs, we can encourage children to keep a running list of their skills, gifts, traits, etc. Praise is one way to show children what it is we see in them when they have a harder time noticing these themselves. Children could also make a list of things they appreciate and see in others. What we admire in others are often things we inherently have within ourselves as well, or traits, qualities and skills that we'd like to posess or develop. It's a good practice to recognize and appreciate the good. As they say:
Energy flows where attention, and intention, goes.
What we appreciate, appreciates.
What is fed love, grows.
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.
Words matter. And the words that matter most are the ones you say to yourself.
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Resources:
https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-who-are-too-hard-on-themselves/
https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/negative-self-talk-child-says-dumb-stupid
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Note:
The information, tips and resources presented in this site are for inspirational and educational purposes only and do not substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your family doctor or child's pediatrician. You may also visit the resource page for further supports.
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